Beauty of Free

What is in the word "Beauty"?

When I think of beauty, I think of something natural, free, and pleasurable.
It can be a relationship, a person, or an activity.


"Free" is Beauty, when we enjoy the freedom of playtime we often feel better. My personal theory on depression is that most of us do not indulge in our passions of being "free" to sing, dance, laugh, write, color, or explore; as we were did as children. As adults it is taboo to play and it is looked at as a negative act of irresponsibility because it is not productive.


Why do I care? Well, I spend a lot of time thinking, what is my passion in life? I keep looking at various careers only to realize that perhaps my passion is being "free" to explore, write, laugh, and be creative, rather than institutionalized. Only problem, I haven't figured out exactly how being "free" is going to keep the mortgage paid.

I suspect that most of us end up convincing ourselves that "work" or the manifestation of the negative theory of "work" is the only answer.

I don't get a pedicure often because I can't afford them. but, I was very inspired by a Vietnamese woman who told me that her passion was doing pedicures; She loved making feet pretty. At first I was very embarrassed by the condition of my feet, but she was able to put me at ease about the situation. I could see and feel her passion as she worked very hard to make them pretty. I thought "wow" that is beautiful. She feels "free" rather than institutionalized when doing pedicures, even one like this.

Oh, I write a little

Scar

Love and Life is complicated indeed;
especially when spending time in the wrong places,
grinning and gazing into the wrong faces.
Your understanding comes from a philosophy un-pure.
Anything with substance seems complicated, I'm sure.

I wanted much less than what I was willing to give.
Would have given my last breath, Just so you could live.
It's clear me. We are from a different philosophy.
But does it mean that if I love you and you don't love me back,
That I should go smoke crack?I now laugh, but was once puzzled,
lost my mind,then I decided that was whack.

Your motto, "It is what it is"", according to the universe.
But for love and life, what could be worse?
Is my reality simply what I make it, or my reaction?
Is it all worth the short-term satisfaction?
Only karma will tell...We can all just hope not to burn in hell.

Harsh? I'm willing to compromise rationally.
Nevermind, that was missed opportunity.
Besides, what's love got to do with pure philosophy?

CD for the Truth and a some Inspiration - Erykah Badu's, New Amerykah Part I (4th World War)

"If I could get over that hump then maybe I will feel better"

For those of you that know what I am referring to., No I don't smoke dope, but I can relate to what Ms. Badu is speaking of. "I'm just trying to pay my rent and I can feel it,...Coming down around me and these children" .. Now, that's the truth ok...

It took me a minute to really get into the CD but I refused to let Ms. Badu defeat me with her brilliance of the mind. Loves It!

"That Hump" is just one of my favorites, but I am loving the whole CD can't wait for the next.

Who Am I????

This morning I woke up rushing, I went and gently woke the kids and pushed them toward the restroom, I helped them get dressed, combed their hair, put some clothes in the washer, made my bed, and thought about what we were going to eat tonight.

I thought about my bills, the price of gas, and my non-existent love life. I thought how can help in making sure my girls feel positive about being black girls in society. I starting getting dressed and accidentally looked at myself in the mirror.

Who is that? "She could be really cute if she took the time" but then I said, "What time"?

So out the door, rush, rush, rush,

I took them to daycare and school, but remembered the woman in the mirror. I would really like to get to know her.

I thought about ways of finding a healthy balance. Balance in my mind, balance in loving myself, balance with dealing with my hidden issues (such as depression, self-esteem, and fear) exploring new things, and not being afraid to love again.

She is "Me" only now with armor, protecting herself from the world while burying herself in commitments.