Evolution of You, Always Follow Your Spirit

I have let a few weeks pass since my last post. Partly because I am experiencing some new, profound, and life changing events in my personal life. I was waiting for the right words to write the words of my expressions.

I can start by saying that life is a little tricky and it wouldn't be worth it if we knew everything. It can be beautiful if we allow ourselves to evolve in every situation, no matter if it is good or bad. However, it is often very difficult to see the light at the end of a tunnel, especially when we have been travelling in the dark for so long. My motto for life's journey is to follow your spirit, it doesn't lie.

A lot of times, we are holding ourselves back by holding on to something that is obviously holding us back. In our own determination, we tend to persist that things, people, and situations belong in our lives, even though they have proven over and over that they do not belong because they are not good for our evolution. But yet we are afraid to let go and it doesn't matter how many times have we heard "When a door closes another opens" we don't believe it.

Who would have guessed that I would have found my real father at the age of 32 over the past few weeks. By following my spirit, I have been afforded this opportunity to open a new door for the purpose of evolution. I feel blessed, excited, and thankful for the opportunity.

Nothing ever happens by accident, whether we realize it or not. Evolving means to grow, develop, mature, and change. This comes with occasional surprises because evolving is ever changing. No, it is not always easy to open doors of opportunity while closing doors that are not to proceed in the next step of our evolution. In fact,we as human beings do not always understand why certain events have to occur that provoke pain, confusion, and unrest in our minds for a time. In my situation, new doors are opening, others are closing, questions are answered, I am evolving. I am grateful.

Be You...Conscious!

You can lie to you but YOU know the truth

A couple of weeks ago while cleaning out some papers in my closet I found where I had taken a career assessment exam in August of 2007. I remembered how disappointed I was when I took the exam because I wanted it to tell me that I would be an excellent Pharmaceutical Sales Representative. It didn’t. It was about eighteen pages of my personality broken down, and it gave me my top careers, none of them, what I wanted to here at the time. The Narrative Interpretation had statements like: “Meamya is conscious of existence, meaning, purpose, potential and destiny of humankind, people and Meamya is motivated by a self-felt, self accepted calling to the cause of good, growth, and gain in the lives of others.” I was like What?!? That is not a trait for a sales person.

The assessment test listed my top ten ideal careers as, training, communications, marketing and promotion, guidance, spiritual, teaching, nurture, art, design, and creative writing. “It also stated that my perception tends to be holistic and conceptual in other words, I must be able to see the big picture, and it better have a positive outcome in order for me to buy in to it. I found it very strange that two years later, I am doing some form of all of those tasks from home and without much pay. The point I am trying to make here is that you can lie to you but “You” know the truth.

Beauty of Free

What is in the word "Beauty"?

When I think of beauty, I think of something natural, free, and pleasurable.
It can be a relationship, a person, or an activity.


"Free" is Beauty, when we enjoy the freedom of playtime we often feel better. My personal theory on depression is that most of us do not indulge in our passions of being "free" to sing, dance, laugh, write, color, or explore; as we were did as children. As adults it is taboo to play and it is looked at as a negative act of irresponsibility because it is not productive.


Why do I care? Well, I spend a lot of time thinking, what is my passion in life? I keep looking at various careers only to realize that perhaps my passion is being "free" to explore, write, laugh, and be creative, rather than institutionalized. Only problem, I haven't figured out exactly how being "free" is going to keep the mortgage paid.

I suspect that most of us end up convincing ourselves that "work" or the manifestation of the negative theory of "work" is the only answer.

I don't get a pedicure often because I can't afford them. but, I was very inspired by a Vietnamese woman who told me that her passion was doing pedicures; She loved making feet pretty. At first I was very embarrassed by the condition of my feet, but she was able to put me at ease about the situation. I could see and feel her passion as she worked very hard to make them pretty. I thought "wow" that is beautiful. She feels "free" rather than institutionalized when doing pedicures, even one like this.

Who Am I????

This morning I woke up rushing, I went and gently woke the kids and pushed them toward the restroom, I helped them get dressed, combed their hair, put some clothes in the washer, made my bed, and thought about what we were going to eat tonight.

I thought about my bills, the price of gas, and my non-existent love life. I thought how can help in making sure my girls feel positive about being black girls in society. I starting getting dressed and accidentally looked at myself in the mirror.

Who is that? "She could be really cute if she took the time" but then I said, "What time"?

So out the door, rush, rush, rush,

I took them to daycare and school, but remembered the woman in the mirror. I would really like to get to know her.

I thought about ways of finding a healthy balance. Balance in my mind, balance in loving myself, balance with dealing with my hidden issues (such as depression, self-esteem, and fear) exploring new things, and not being afraid to love again.

She is "Me" only now with armor, protecting herself from the world while burying herself in commitments.