Precious - A Must See

I often write and speak about issues that effect the spirit and self esteem of women, specifically, African American Women and girls. I watched this trailer today and almost came to tears because I could feel the pain that is still so very prevalent in our communities today. Low self esteem and self hatered is a negative cycle that creates and breeds many issues in African American culture. Although it has secretly plagued many generations of black women and our communities, it is finally coming to the light in hopes of healing and creating positive future generations. I hope that this reflection will inspire all to keep pushing toward greatness and self love. I can't wait for the release.



This movie was inspired by a novel Push by Sapphire

Thanks Mahogony Momma of the Black Moms Club for sending

Be You...Conscious

10 Simple Ways To Improve Your Self Esteem Now

One of the most problematic issues facing many of us, is issues on self-esteem. For many of us, all you can think about is not feeling good enough, not being tall or short enough, not being dark or light enough, or not having longer or straighter hair.

Fact, low self-esteem can keep you from stepping out into the world and claiming what is rightfully yours. Here is my list of 10 ways to reclaim and improve your self-esteem.

1. Remove or limit negative and/or cynical people (or make their access to you more difficult)

2. Replace them with people who are positive and influential. (This is where your discerning eye will have to take over, there are tricky ones out there)

3. Look at your good qualities, remind yourself of them daily

4. Learn how to accept constructive criticism and make necessary changes, but remember, no one is perfect.

5. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT compare yourself to anyone else. (I remember doing this during my divorce, it played a significant role in the delay of my healing process)

6. Accept the fact that life has ups and downs, it is important to just keep going.

7. Take care of your body and grooming, this will help you to feel more confident when around others.

8. Relax and learn to listen and observe others without being biased, you will feel more confident when dealing with people if you have an unbiased view.

9. Stand up for yourself when being disrespected, Do not allow anyone to violate your rights. I don't mean pick a fight, just kindly let them know "I see you, do you see me,... now let's get on the same page"

And finally,

10. Make it your own personal learning journey, no one can tell you exactly how to go about improving your self esteem, however, if you make it a journey for yourself, it will become an enjoyable experience.

Issues on Self-Esteem & Being a Woman of Cocoa Color

I remember a few years back I went out to a night spot with a few people from work. A nice looking young black man approached me and said "I don't even date black women, but you I would consider".... the only reply I had was, "oh, that's ok, I don't date black men either"

I only said that out of defense, but the truth was, It was painful to hear that and I was going through a painful divorce with my black husband at the time.

I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, Lawton to be excact. I specifically remember feeling as if I wasn't pretty or good enough because my hair wasn't blonde, didn't flow with wind, and I didn't have blue eyes. The boys in school (black or white) didn't even look at black girls and as I grew older, it seemed, neither did the men.

It probably didn't help my self image to have a family full of single black women or women in sick relationships, because they either suffered from self- esteem and/or self-worth issues. (in my opinion) Anyhow, as I gain more knowledge and confidence about who I am and what I have to offer, It seems that instead of getting encouragement from most, I am looked down upon or labeled negatively for feeling confident, beautiful, and sexy. Or is it just me?

Would society really rather me not accept the plate I was given but instead fight against the grain by showing that I am discontent with the fact that many black men do not desire brown skinned women; or should I break the cycle by raising my black girls to be black women who feel just are desired no matter what.

Honestly, I am just trying to reverse the damage, build myself, and teach my young daughters to be proud of their skin, hair, and culture. Otherwise, they too will make choices just to get by and will always feel as if they just aren't _(fill in the blank)_enough.