I remember a few years back I went out to a night spot with a few people from work. A nice looking young black man approached me and said "I don't even date black women, but you I would consider".... the only reply I had was, "oh, that's ok, I don't date black men either"
I only said that out of defense, but the truth was, It was painful to hear that and I was going through a painful divorce with my black husband at the time.
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, Lawton to be excact. I specifically remember feeling as if I wasn't pretty or good enough because my hair wasn't blonde, didn't flow with wind, and I didn't have blue eyes. The boys in school (black or white) didn't even look at black girls and as I grew older, it seemed, neither did the men.
It probably didn't help my self image to have a family full of single black women or women in sick relationships, because they either suffered from self- esteem and/or self-worth issues. (in my opinion) Anyhow, as I gain more knowledge and confidence about who I am and what I have to offer, It seems that instead of getting encouragement from most, I am looked down upon or labeled negatively for feeling confident, beautiful, and sexy. Or is it just me?
Would society really rather me not accept the plate I was given but instead fight against the grain by showing that I am discontent with the fact that many black men do not desire brown skinned women; or should I break the cycle by raising my black girls to be black women who feel just are desired no matter what.
Honestly, I am just trying to reverse the damage, build myself, and teach my young daughters to be proud of their skin, hair, and culture. Otherwise, they too will make choices just to get by and will always feel as if they just aren't _(fill in the blank)_enough.
I only said that out of defense, but the truth was, It was painful to hear that and I was going through a painful divorce with my black husband at the time.
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, Lawton to be excact. I specifically remember feeling as if I wasn't pretty or good enough because my hair wasn't blonde, didn't flow with wind, and I didn't have blue eyes. The boys in school (black or white) didn't even look at black girls and as I grew older, it seemed, neither did the men.
It probably didn't help my self image to have a family full of single black women or women in sick relationships, because they either suffered from self- esteem and/or self-worth issues. (in my opinion) Anyhow, as I gain more knowledge and confidence about who I am and what I have to offer, It seems that instead of getting encouragement from most, I am looked down upon or labeled negatively for feeling confident, beautiful, and sexy. Or is it just me?
Would society really rather me not accept the plate I was given but instead fight against the grain by showing that I am discontent with the fact that many black men do not desire brown skinned women; or should I break the cycle by raising my black girls to be black women who feel just are desired no matter what.
Honestly, I am just trying to reverse the damage, build myself, and teach my young daughters to be proud of their skin, hair, and culture. Otherwise, they too will make choices just to get by and will always feel as if they just aren't _(fill in the blank)_enough.
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